asking the world of me

The world, is asking the world of me.

I don't think I'm up for it. Initiating on a whole new company in a week, from modelling to report, is simply.... impossible. Try doing that when you're busy downgrading somebody else, meeting clients, going on conference calls, and having a useless associate who "forgets" to do the work and slinks off quietly from the office.

And has the ballsiness to, on the first day of the job, ask me to put his name together on my reports. And wants to email the big boss directly to ask, as if he's worried I will be selfish and won't ask.

What the *toot*.
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Was so exhausted I just COULDN'T get out of bed today. So here I sit at 9am, waiting for the jam to clear so I can head to the office. Plus a major hangover from a client dinner last night.

Still don't know if it's worth it. I'll check back in when the bonus comes.

Bonjour 2011

It's 2011, and I'm settling down to have my breakfast cum lunch meal of self-prepared seafood fusilli marinara.. at 530pm in the evening. The London sale buys are scattered haphazardly around my sofa and living room, evidence of a pretty disorganized unpacking strategy.

"Oooh these are the shoes i bought!" *tries on* *hmm looks good..* *then gets distracted*
"But what's this? Aaah my 50-pound Karen Millen dress which used to be 250 pounds!!* *grabs dress to try on, and shoes lie forgotten*
Repeat for the next 5 handbags, 2 pairs of shoes, 8-9 boxes of sprungli and laderach chocolates, tea boxes, soaps, accessories.

Flew home from my Europe holiday, and flew right into 2011.

The reality of the matter is, after spending the bulk of last year on sleepless nights, report launches, and killing myself over my job, I have absolutely no idea what to do with myself in 2011. All I know is I do NOT want a repeat of 2010, which explains why I told my boss yesterday I want another day's leave today to spend it curling up with vongole, blogging and distracting my friends who all went back to work today. I had to settle a whole lot of personal admin stuff like paying bills, doing laundry etc, but it's extremely boring to talk about one's laundry.

But shall I tell you about Paris? Yes, I shall. It started on a pretty sad foot (literally!) as I got hit with a bout of rheumatism on my legs. Yeah, shut up. Rheumy Achilles tendons are for 70 year olds apparently, but I've had them off and on since I was 10. It hits every time I sleep without covering my ankles in a blanket, and stupid me slept that way in the middle of a London winter.

Asking to die, seriously.

So we were waiting at the Gare du Nord metro for the train to go to our hotel when an old French dude taps me on the shoulder and starts sputtering away in French, pointing at my limping leg. I started stammering... "aahhh.. Je ne... parle pas..." when he said the word "Massage". So i decided it would be much easier to nod and say "oui, oui" than attempt to carry on a conversation with the ancient old dude who probably lived through the French revolution.

The rest of Paris, minus the bad leg, was breathtaking. Especially the *only* RM3k large Epi leather Noir LV Speedy I managed to bag! Those sort of price tag is unheard of! Oh but yes, the view from the Sacre Coeur was similarly mindblowing, too. This picture does not do it justice.

It was just very cold. Nearly got frostbite waiting at Trocadero to see the Eiffel Tower light up. And my ears nearly fell off in pain wandering around St Germain des Pres on an escargot hunt. The Notre Dame was depressing, mainly because we kept being accosted by people asking for donations and because I secretly am afraid of the Hunchback. And the only thing I remember from visiting the world-famous treasure trove of masterpieces and historical objets d'art, also known as the Louvre, is this picture.

C'est Paris pour vous.

my best days...

Blowing out the candles on another birthday cake,
Old enough to look back and laugh at my mistakes,
Young enough to look at the future and like what I see,
My best days are ahead of me.

Nobody could have sung it better than David Gokey.

The days I've been waiting for are here. The beginning of the end of the year.

It all started in Tokyo. Ahhh, Tokyo. From stealing the cute Mandarin Oriental packaged tiny sugar cubes wherever I went (and that included while having tea with the CEO), to stepping front and backing off from the toilet seat in Nobu Tokyo just to see the sensor-automated toilet lid flip up and down, to downing sake in an irreverent atmosphere at a Tokyo National museum gallery that was specially booked by our company for a client event (at night too, no less!), to partying like it was 2012 with newly-made friends at two Roppongi Hills clubs til 5am, it almost made the year worth it.

The Japanese sure know how to party, and they're really good at lip-synching to the most popular American tunes today. Imagine swirling your whiskey glass in the underground basement of a totally non-descript building which resembles a warehouse, with tons of Japanese guys and girls smiling at you, while all of you are singing together to the song "Empire State of Mind". Nooo York..... concrete jungle where dreams are made, oh....

Price-freaking-less.


Sitting on a park bench watching the world go by, and a couple at L'Atelier de Joel Robuchon in Roppongi Hills.

So Tokyo, Hong Kong and Singapore are down. Tonight I fly to the land of Swiss cheese and ski resorts.

See you in Zurich.

sex with someone else at 27

Friend: I did something unimaginable yesterday. *groans*

Me: What did you do? *while huffing and panting in the heat to the nearest and cheapest lunch place around the office*

Friend: You know that girl I told you about right...

Me: Yeah... *distracted - thinking about eating chicken rice with chicken breast.. or should I go for the curry mee?*

Friend: I don't know how it happened, but I slept with her.

Me: WHAAAATTTT?!?!?!? *all thoughts of chicken rice fly out of the mind*

We're not talking about some long-time savvy Casanova who breaks girl's hearts. We're talking about a very dear boy, somebody who couldn't cheat, prided himself on NOT cheating, someone whom I thought of over the years as the world's most loyal man.

Well at least during the period when we used to date each other.

You must be wondering what sort of nut still chats with her ex on stuff like sleeping with other people, but we're still really close friends. Nothing else.

Me: Oh god. where was it?

Friend: In my new house.

Me: Isn't your new house not ready yet, still renovating?

Friend: Yeah. Still got on-going works.

Me: You... you... *speechless* in a unit which is being renovated?!? You mean no bed!!?!?

Friend: *groans again* yessssssss..... don't ask.

Me: No I don't want to know. *yes i really DON'T want to know*

Friend: So I don't know if I should tell my girlfriend.

Me: Well, very simple - if you still love her, stop seeing the other girl and work hard to MAKE IT WORK. Telling her might ease your guilt, but may cause her worse pain. On the other hand, if you don't love her enough, then you might have to consider breaking her heart sooner rather than later.

Friend: I'm not this kind of person! I don't sleep with anyone!

Me: *raises eyebrows* *took him this long to realize people are human after all, and have temptations*

Friend: Oh noooooo.... *almost wails*

Me: Just don't do anything these few days. I can't talk much, heading to the airport. Meet up next week to discuss, okay? Meantime don't do anything stupid, like sleep with her again.

Friend: Haihhhh.....

Me: By the way, was it good?

Friend: Yes.. she was good.

Me: OH-KAY. I don't want to know. *wish I didn't ask*
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In Singapore for the 2nd time in 2 weeks. Travelling alone is lonely. Eating dinner alone is lonely. 11pm and I haven't done any prep for my presentations tomorrow, but I'm bone dead tired.

Would give anything to be boarding that flight to nowhere right now.

travel ain't as cracked up

Sitting here at Kota Kinabalu International Airport grabbing the free airport wi-fi, waiting for the person holding my boarding pass to arrive so I can get back to the gates for the flight back to KL.

Been in KK for - 5 hours. And all I've seen is the airport. This is getting to be a trend. At least last week's jaunt to SQ's analyst briefing involved a 5 minute cab ride out of the airport.

So unless its an overnight trip, travelling for work on a corporate card ain't as cracked up as I used to think it would be. 11 months and I'm jaded. That's just great.

Anyway, back to why I'm in KK. Was invited for the maiden flight of MAS B737-800 to KK and naturally I was excited, given I like being the first to try anything out. Had a great time fiddling with the touchscreen in-flight panels throughout the 2 and a half hour flight. It wasn't til I landed in KK that I realized that the new 737 was going on to Haneda and I would be boarding one of MAS' old planes back for the return trip.

And you know how it is with their old planes, no inflight anything. Sitting for 2 plus hours staring at the old plane seat in front of me?

And instead of going on the organized city tour (which I heard went to Karambunai), I had to stay back in the business lounge reviewing reports and replying emails, otherwise it would mean a late night in the office, something which I'd forgo 10 Karambunai trips for.

PS - The book store at the airport is a rip-off! RM37.50 for Glamour? East Malaysians must be freaking loaded.

On another note the new Firefly ad is quite endearing - the one of the Orang Asli dude grinning saying "Kamek nait belon Firefly".

So cute.

theres a fine line..

... between a wild time, and a flat line.

We had the major of all major bust-ups yesterday. I'd been feeling really exhausted and stressed and powerless about all the work that's piling up, the family issues, etc. It got to the point where being his girlfriend topped off the whole trapeze of perfection that I was trying to balance on.

I wasn't being bitter, nor do I think it a *shudder* duty, but there really seems to be a whole lot going on in my life right now. So cue Saturday lunch when we were supposedly having a stress-free meal after I'd gotten a piece written and out of the way, when I brought up the subject of that piece of work again inadvertently, feeling quite nervous about Monday, because I have to make a presentation on it and I really felt like I hadn't covered all my bases.

He gave a terribly exasperated sigh and said something along the lines of forget it or will you drop it or something. I just lost it.

Felt like if he, of all people, didn't realize how hard I had to work to get by, then really, what was the point of it all?

I used to think I'd be fine with a relationship where the couple could discuss work or strategize over lunch or in between hugs and go out and conquer the freaking world together. Not to be bigheaded, but could you imagine two "me's" in a couple?

We'd be running billion-dollar companies, backing each other in the boardroom, travelling the world for meetings but running off in the middle of it to ride a camel in Egypt or hunt for antiques in Istanbul.

I still wouldn't mind that - but he does mind, I guess.
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Somebody I know started a blog - not to rant about their toenails or the color of the moss on their walls (though it seems like I am guilty as charged here too).. but to write about her breastfeeding and what not experience from her giving birth to bringing up the child.

Harh????

I wish I had that much free time to natter on about how eating cabbage is not good for Junior cos it gives him tummy tum tum problems. It is amazing the different paths we took - she probably will never understand why I kill myself over this job, nor will I understand her obsession with NOT eating cabbage. The kid won't die, come on. Right?

I don't know.

I can tell you which option looks better in the UEM-Sunrise deal, though. But I think it wouldn't matter when the kid screams at 3am from too much cabbage.

the story of how I got bought

I think I am destined to be in this job forever. Typing this post on my brand new spankingly silver and shiny Vaio netbook which represents a very successful attempt to buy me over.

It all started when I marched into the boss's room with my exhaustion for all the world to see and frankly detailed out why I am pretty sure I will not be able to make it past these 3 weeks, with all the work that's piling up before Tokyo.

He calmed me down and sent me out of the room, but that very night he bought the netbook and asked if I wanted it - like hello? I'm using a 5 year old Dell, of course I want it! Anyway that very night, I worked til midnight. Ha ha.

So that's the story of how I got bought. Damn evil boss I have.

Plus the next morning I got assigned a temp assistant.

Lest I got accused of favouritism, the other two team members got a GPS and a Mont Blanc pen. Yeah, they're guys.

If this goes on, I'll end up 3 years down the line with a fancy Audi TT and all the best gadgets in the world, but with zero soul.

Lol.