That's what somebody told me. I think its a snarkier way of saying go with the flow. Anyway, a 530pm conference call has delayed my bid to pick up the pieces of my discontinued social life so I'm trying to pass the time as best as I can.
And that definitely doesn't mean anally poring over the latest tracked draft of meeting minutes, AFTER you've looked at it three times. Meeting minutes are the most low level type documents I have to do. Like how in Farmville that translates to a Level 1 where you can plant nothing but bloody low-yielding raspberries, while all the higher level farmers with poncy names like Sultan of Soil look at you with that mofo smirk on their faces.
Anyway, back to the more interesting things that are going on.
Out of the blue I decided to check MetroDad out because last I heard his daughter had just turned three or four. I rarely read him because what in the world can a middle age (wait I think he's middle aged, is 40 considered middle age? It's really relative actually) guy with a young daughter whom he calls Peanut have in common with a slightly demented, possibly mildly bipolar (either that or plagues with really bad PMS bouts) 25 year old who works rabidly at her career, has no patience for idiots and whose main aims in life include buying Eames dining chairs for the apartment she has just bought?
In fact, the only thing we probably have in common is that we have very few friends. And I share his disdain for the masses of people who have such voluminous quantities of friends that they have to start taking those stupid family Christmas photos and writing their Christmas cards even before Thanksgiving. I have nothing against those Christmas photos. But please for god's sake don't all of you wear the same woollen sweaters with a green and red tree emblazoned across your chest. I have so few friends but I would not think twice of asking any one of them to emcee my wedding. Yes, that to me is personal. Because I'm a control freak and a perfectionist, and to actually cede the stage to someone who has probably never emceed before is quite a milestone for me.
Anyway, back to the main story. Which is the visit back to MetroDad.
He got divorced.
A hastily typed email ensued, sent to another friend whom I know reads him.
"MetroDad got divorced???"
Her reply was simple.
"Unfortunately. He's like my ideal guy.
And no it wasn't schadenfreude that compelled me to read more of his posts. It was because of what a friend is now currently going through. And being a close friend of his, I am naturally caught up in the receding and advancing tides of his emotions and experiences and mood swings, which lately have been heading south more often than not.
I sent the blog link to that friend.
Him: "I think we should skinny dip."
Me: "With a drink in one hand. But I need arm band floats. I got a problem staying afloat when I'm drunk."
Him: "Ok shallow pool then."
Me: "Cannot! Can see all the bits and pieces!"
Him : "Fark. Dun care la."
Me: "Hmm I think we should wear a party hat. With streamers."
And then I imagined us group of close friends in a hot spa infinity pool with our toes hiked up the ledge overlooking a lush green untouched forest. Something like the one that can be found at Casabrina.
The beautiful picture is rudely interrupted when my ears pick up the ridiculous conversation thats going on in the cubicle next to mine.
One guy is talking to the girl about this insurance investment policy. It works like those lottery things and on the basis of time value of money. If you win a lottery, these people show up and offer to give you a lump sum amount at a discounted value than the amount you actually won, on the basis that you are getting the money now. So if you're an insurance policy holder, you sell your policy to an investor for a discounted sum, and the investor will be the beneficiary when you finally kick the bucket.
My eyes continue rolling, and I feel an increasing urge to turn around and tell him -
"Have you ever watched Leverage, bozo? Thats how they scam unsuspecting people like you. Jeezuz."
