Round #1

Ace Gang Member: Hi, I heard frm *boss name* that you're the toll road expert.
Stalwart Gang Member: *deadpan voice* No one here is an expert.
Ace Gang Member: *laughs nervously* No really.. seriously..
Stalwart Gang Member: I'm serious. Nobody here is an expert in anything.

Stalwart - 1, Ace Gang - 0.

Ding! Bring on Round 2.
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My boss is trying to make me be polite to Ms Gymnast. I take issue with it because I didn't set out to be anything, much less rude, to her in the first place, preferring to just stick to my side of the playground because where girls are concerned, I have bad luck with them (see Village Bicycle story below).

Him: She is just damn naive and innocent..hence can come across as bimbo-ish.. she's very very innocent , its like talking to a little girl..

Cue vomit.

Cue barf bag.

No assistant vice president with 5 plus years working in this fucking dog eat dog, dog eat rat, fly, cat and everything else world can be that innocent.

Whatever. I can play nice too. See if you don't choke on my sweetness or die a diabetic death.
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My G-string snapped while I was in the little girls' room. Snapped and slid down my legs. Talk about dramatic effect. Something bad is going to happen. Either that, or I will be winning the lottery. If I buy it, that is.