Launching a Kempen Tak Nak

I have reached the end of my physical and mental limit. When the FX team turned around and screwed everyone in the ass (me included) today, I just wanted to throw in the towel and quit. What made me really want to pick up the carving knife and go after them was the fact that this was supposed to be the first time in weeks that I get to wake up without an alarm.

You may think I'm a sucker for being busy, that I love complaining that I'm busy because it sounds so self important but really, all I want to do is go somewhere where nobody knows my name. I can be myself, I don't have to know or care how the markets did because I'd be living in my idea of a perfect world -

One where I have a small cosy home with all the things I've collected from my travels. Knick knacks from friends, little trinkets of memories. I let myself in quietly, go to the fridge, and take my favourite Kickapoo in a green bottle (not a damn can) and sit on my verandah. My view obviously is one of the sea, I love the sea. I'll sit there in the breeze, and as the sun turns velvet in the sky, soft music - Suerte sang by Jason and Ximena - will come filtering through the light wispy white curtains. And I'll take a deep breath. Knowing I've come so far, finally being able to let myself be proud of me. Knowing that I don't have to fight any more.

I work towards that day. In that world, I won't be afraid of sleeping in the dark alone, in fact, I love the time when I can switch off the lights and climb into my soft sheets and let myself drift.

I used to be able to that - only until I was 12. Not any more. Not for a long, long, time.

You've heard of women desperate to settle down. But ever heard of anyone getting desperate to find peace?
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Superhero took me to Ah Koong for the first time in 6 months since I joined the new firm. A part of me came out that hasn't been out to play for a long time. We talked, laughed, shared secrets, (well the sharing constituted of me digging and him going 'why you wanna know for?!') and I forgot how much I missed comfortable companionship and sharing of thoughts.

I'm so looking forward to Krabi with Y. Actually, at this point, I just welcome any free time to myself. Rather sit around a porch doing nothing than go to the mall nowadays. Getting old and anti-social.
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Had drinks with a couple of people yesterday, and Playboy really surprised me. Well, not surprised, but more .. proven right.

I never thought he'd be the kind of person to go -

Ex-Colleague: So heard you're the man about town huh?
Playboy: Well I used to be during those times...
Ex-Colleague: (in reference to a girl) heard that didn't end very well...
Playboy: Ahh.. there was another girl..
Me: Omg (mock horror) so bad.
Ex-Colleague: You're just so damn confident aren't you..?
Playboy: Well, of course! Have you seen the competition out there?

- this is the part where I just went .......... -

So girls, dangerous and self-confident is good, you will dig it. But erm, habeas corpus? Modus operandi? Ancora Imparo?

Wtf is that latin word for buyer beware?

Ah.

Caveat emptor.
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I even forgot what I wanted to say when I titled this post "Launching a Kempen Tak Nak"

Tak nak buat kerja?
Tak nak tiada kehidupan?
Tak nak hidup tanpa cinta?

Sudah lupa.