the sweetest crush

"Happiness matters, it is what warms the bed at night - not your reams of reports with your name on it" - Quote of the day.

After 6 months of living out of balance, I'm starting to even out the scales.

Metrodad's latest post is the bomb. Made me re-live my childhood crushes all over again. Not that I had many, my standards back then were probably twice as high as they are now (><) because I had to have a boy who was taller than me (abit hard cos my legs grew faster than my peers), could read better than me (Peter and Jane at 1, beat that yo), could climb the jungle gym faster than me, and be handsome (with the cute side parting I liked in little boys when I was a little girl). No such luck, later on I found out and had to downgrade my standards, especially with regards to the side parting because most of the boys who had them were gay.

One lesson I learnt though - painfully - was that all my crushes never loved me back. They always went for the girl with the fairer skin and straighter hair. (I ran around in the sun all day and only straightened my hair when I was 17) So I learnt never to crush because that was tantamount to a fucking jinx on any potential blossoming of romance. And I learnt to be wary of fair-skinned girls with straight hair, you just can't beat the innocent doe-eyed princess look, no matter how articulate, intelligent, charming, witty and charismatic you are. That lesson unfortunately has continued to persist even up til I celebrated my 24th birthday. (I'll be 26 next week)

Because of said skintone and funky hair, the only crush I managed to land for some degree of permanency was when I was 16. The closest thingamie to a childhood love there was in my sadly limited youth, one that was spent achieving a perfect CV to ultimately land this current job. The details of our romance escape me now - because I would rather die than date and marry the person he is now - but the absolute saccharine sweetness from those feelings of yesteryears remain.

Imagine, he called me his Cinderella. My 16 year old heart was no match for that.

So do you still remember who you used to love? The one you spend the whole night up folding those stupid paper stars for? (Guilty as charged)

The one you hid in the downstairs closet for at 830pm just so you could be the first to rush to the phone because he promised to call then?

Damn do I remember. :)