Rule the world or rule the roost?

My idea of success when I was a slightly overweight kid with mushroom hair and thick knees back in school was of being a denizen of the fast-paced corporate world, always needing to be someplace, power-walking on stilettos from the plane to the waiting chauffeured car, one eye on the PDA in my palm and the other hand smoothening out the imaginary creases on my sharp single-breasted Armani suit.

That idea didn't change when I first got a job in investment banking. Fuelled by books like 'Monkey Business' and 'The Accidental Investment Banker', I knew I was on my way to living that idea. And I'm still on track - having selected a career that promises travel and exposure, the sort of business travel where you spend the whole day in meetings and only spend 6 hours in your 6-star hotel room; the one-city-a-day, see-Paris-from-the-backseat-of-chauffeured-car kind of travel.

But thoughts of a different life surface once in awhile. Blame it on genetics, female DNA, or God's way of ensuring the population continues populating, but I sometimes imagine what it will be like to spend my days playing in the sandbox with the cutest little toddler in a white sailor suit, having butter and honey pancakes for breakfast in the garden with Junior while flipping through magazines for ideas for my latest home decoration project, having ice cream for lunch with my daughter to commemorate 'Just Because' day where we do anything just because we want to.

Sliding down into the warm waters of the Ritz's bathtub at 3am, leaning back and looking out of the huge window by the tub overlooking the bay, thinking about ruling the world. You wonder if it will come a time when you realize it's just a bunch of BS and that all you want to do is teach your toddler to fingerpaint or decorate the home.

Amber and I have been having not-so-serious conversations about domesticated life.

Amber - Fuck this shit. I wanna be a house wife.

Me - Ya, I can come over to your house after dropping my kid off in school. We can sit around having coffee before picking them up for their swim class or piano class.

Amber - Yeah... I don't mind that. Never thought I'd be having this conversation with you so soon.

But apparently, in this era of enlightened female empowerment, you're supposed to want more for yourself than making babies.

Playboy - Hows the job?

Me - Really good, learning alot, but I don't think I'll be doing this forever.

Playboy - That's just what you say.

I guess I pull off the corporate bitch look quite well. :)

I still remember the two dreams I had - the one where I was pregnant and protectively shielding my stomach everywhere I walked, and the other one where I was on my knees scrubbing the floor of the new condo waiting for my husband to come home to show him what I did that day. Only thing I don't know who my husband will be because when I heard his keys open the front door, I woke bloody up.

But I think I'll work for awhile after I get married. Basically pursuing our careers while being married, sounds very very nice to me. You can work til 3am knowing that there'll be somebody at home warming the sheets. Lol.

Jeez, I really don't know where these thoughts are coming from. Blame it on the last person who recently announced she's getting married. At least I still have Amber and gang to remind me that not everyone's getting hitched yet.

Happy Chinese New Year. Tomorrow's another day of hints from my mom and assorted family members, which I've learnt to deflect rather well by stuffing my mouth full of food and going "pffmph!!" when they ask unanswerable questions.