I opened my eyes, and just didn't feel like opening them. Days like these come once in awhile - I'm disoriented, and I don't know what I have to show for in this world. It takes a gargantuan effort to focus, to remind myself of just how much I've done. Far cry from those days.
I still manage to keep it together no matter how shitty things get - that has to count for something, no? I keep listing down and repeating what I've done, sometimes I succeed and the feeling goes away, other times I just burrow down in bed, and sleep til the next morning.
This is the 'other time'. It doesn't matter how many items I've ticked off my life list, it doesn't matter how other people would kill to get my life, at times like these, I just feel like saying, "You want it? You can have it.." and then disappear into my favourite dream - the one where I'm living on a farm.
Your twenties can be a really sucky time. One moment you feel on top of the world, the next, you fall into a yawning chasm.
Does it ever get better?
The soul feels weary. Where does a poor weary traveller rest but in his memories? Leaning against an old tree, the traveller takes off his cap and rests it on the ground. He looks up at the foliage above, and remembers. Taking out the memories one by one like little treasures out of a secret chest, he dusts them off, savours them.
His eyes glisten as he remembers the days, smells the scents of yesterday.
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nyc 2006. feeling free. 
sometimes i long for the simple things again. autumn leaves, crisp air, blue skies, and a lighter heart.
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