A selection of short stories

Only positive, funny... or downright creepy ones ahead. I have personally decreed, no sad stories today. Everything else lately is crap, and my crap bandwidth keeps getting tested over and over again, so I no want to talk about it.
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The creepy one 

Two nights ago, I dreamt a dream I had never before dreamt in my life, nor did it in any way (as my dreams usually do) represent or even hint at a scenario that I'd faced in my waking life. Yes, none of those late for exam dreams that still plague the bananas out of me to this day.

I was surrounded by tall, beautiful women of all races, and we were lounging in what can be described a perfect, idyllic heaven of a resort. One thing in common was we all had long hair. Very very long Rapunzel-like hair. And the second similarity, we all had our hair wound round, and round our necks, and the rest of it falling from the base of our necks to our waists. Imagine a long scarf wound around you in winter, that was how we all looked. Golden hair, black hair, red hair, brown hair, among us women in the group. We were talking about our lives, and we touched on the topic of love and the men we love. That seemed to elicit an equal measure of horror and passion from the group.

"I can't love him any more." shuddered one woman. A black woman, with dark black hair.
An older woman nodded, she understood.
"Yes, be careful."

I must have been the resident newbie, because I was clearly puzzled by what that meant. I happened to glance to my left and noticed a young blond woman. At the base of her neck, where her coil of hair missed covering, was a purple patch.

I turned back to the black woman who earlier spoke.

"Why can't you love him any more?" I asked.

"Because.... I'm dying." she answered. And with that, she unwound the hair around her neck, round and round anti-clockwise, until her whole neck was revealed. Dark purple gaping round holes of various sizes dotted her neck, arranged in a stair-like ascending order, staring out at me.

I woke up sweating like crazy and reminded myself to write it down because this is a freaking scary one that I can tell to somebody I hate someday.
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As heard recently at a commodities trading company's roadshow -

Banker - This is so boring. All these commodities people.
Me - I thought comms traders are quite exciting people.
Banker - This is a boring bunch. I'm just waiting to eat the dim sum.
Me - Well, commodities prices are crap. They might just serve you corn on the cob. Or soybean milk. Or wheatgrass juice.

Banker - The risk guy just said .. "The current ratio, is very current."
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Every day I take the same route to work, and due to road closures in the morning nearby the bank, I always have to take a detour without fail which usually adds on a good 10 minutes to my morning drive. Which is all the difference in the world as it either means you are LATE ie past 845am or you are not.

On this detour, there is a one-way street which, if taken (illegally, in the opposite direction, of course), would cut the aforementioned time by half. Ie by 5 minutes.

I have gone the opposite way down that one-way street about 20 times in my whole career in this bank. But only once ever since I got my new car in October last year.

My fear of getting the new car scratched added to the list of "Why I should not drive the wrong way down a one-way street", which already had consisted of the reason "Because you will go to jail for the rest of your life if that family of 3 on a motorbike goes splat on your windshield".  

But I tell you, the ethical dilemma that I face every morning has never ceased.

I was speaking to a colleague who takes the same route - and he said it's usually the biggest decision he has to deliberate on every morning, without fail.

And you think banking life is so exciting. Myeh.