Friday, January 1, 2010

If I Died Today

I've received so many happy new year messages, all wishing the same thing from the last one. Good health, wealth, happiness, love and luck. While I'm grateful that my friends still think of me enough to send me sms-es, these sms-es are the reason why I'm not a message sender at New Year's or Christmas or any other holiday, for that matter.

They're just so overdone, it's meaningless. Even if you sent it with great hopes and a full heart for the receiver, it's just going to end up as one of the many text messages in their inbox. I prefer to be there when it matters - when they're getting married, or when life throws them a curveball. But most people don't realize it, it's the very few who know my silence means a committed presence when they need it the most.

It also doesn't help that the many text messages seem to say the same thing. A language can be crippling and sadly inadequate at times, y'know? So most of the time we say "wish u good luck and good health and love etc etc" when we actually mean -

"I really care what happens to you, and want nothing but the best for you. But I also hope that you'll be happy enough such that if you died today, you'd still be satisfied."

But of course, it's just not civilly correct to talk about the transcience of life in a Happy New Year's message, which is why I end up not sending any at all, other than 'have a happy night tonight'.
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Speaking of dying today, I have been surprised by Mouse.

Mouse and I did a last minute spur of the moment getaway to Avillion Port Dickson on the 29th - our special NY Eve celebration since this year I'd be spending it with the boyfriend instead of her.

We ended up eating great seafood at Weng Yin Seafood Village (500m down the road from Thistle Port Dickson) without paying through our noses - RM60 for a whole fish, prawns and squid dishes. Yeah, thats for two people, not per pax price. We read Cecilia Ahern while drinking Moscato Rose, at least, I read Cecilia Ahern til 4am while Mouse snored her guts out by midnight. She got to enjoy her favourite old love songs at Cumulus, the adult only bar at Thistle (which we regretted not staying at because Avillion was full to the brim with screaming kids) while I indulged in my usual natty jibes at other people (I'd like to say I don't mean it sometimes, but most of the time, you can't help agreeing that there's some truth in what I say, yo)

I mean, what else can you say about the girlfriend of the hot Cristiano Ronaldo lookalike sitting at the table next to us whom Mouse was practically drooling over, except "They're so mismatched. Her face looks like it was used to sweep the floor ten times."

Which, in my defence, it WAS true. And Mouse seemed secretly pleased even though she was vehemently calling me "mean". All for a friend, all for a friend. If that girl had best female buds, they'd be saying I had the face of the surface of Krakatoa, thanks to the zit eruption I suffered due to Avillion's musty pillowcases.

But the shocker wasn't anything that came out of my mouth.

Mouse and I had just checked out of the hotel and we were driving home. I asked Mouse thoughtfully,

"So, do you think you've done alot for this year?"

To which Mouse replied, "Yeah, I think so. I think, if I died today, I'd die happy wei. I did quite alot of things already."

"You mean, you wouldn't feel regret or anything?"

"No, why should I? Alot of people keep looking forward forward, but you never know right, you could die anytime. I think I'd die happy. I did enough for now already lor."

That's Mouse for you, in her own words.
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I can't help but keep looking 'forward forward'. That's why I need people like Mouse, and my boyfriend, to keep reminding me that I'm doing enough.

Happy New Year, y'all.

And yes, I think you did enough. In fact, I'm sure you have. Like-minded souls always do.

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