Say What, Kampuchea?

Cambodia was, in short, an escape. You had no idea people could live in such a different way just two hours flight away. A conversation the first day I arrived, while on the back of a tuk tuk -

Me: *points at a spired building in the distance* What is that?

Driver: That is what.

Me: What? No... WHAT.. what is that? *stabs finger in that direction*

Driver: *looks at me patiently like how I look at people who can't speak English* That is what.

After a few volleys back and forth, I realized he was saying, "That is 'wat'." Temple.

Tiu.

Hired boatmen make USD10 running USD1600 boats owned by tour companies to Chong Khneas floating village. Kids of no more than 6 years old swarming you with their wares, calling out "Lady, buy from me postcard please, if you don't buy now, maybe you buy later after you finish temple...". Polite young children at the orphanage showing you their classroom and their home, while telling you about their studies in the Japanese and Chinese language in addition to English. When you ask why study so many languages, they say that it's because when they grow up, they can make more money as guides compared to those who can only speak English. Village children come running out of their wooden stilted houses when they hear the all-terrain vehicles coming down the dusty paths, not to beg for money, but just to give wide smiles and vigorous waving. European guys having happy hour drafts on Pub Street, eyeing a local Cambodian girl in modern wear strolling back and forth, possibly deliberating if she is a working girl.

That's the Cambodia most people see. They go back home with beautiful pictures, rave to their friends about how poor yet friendly the Cambodians are etc etc.

Don't get me wrong. The local populace is friendly, but there's more to this country. We don't see the corruption well kept under wraps, the little tensions between the many factions in the country (sometimes I think the foreign community hates Pol Pot more than the locals do), the blatant greediness of some locals ripping off the foreign tourists (The white guy paid USD35 for

his boat ride while I got mine for USD30). In fact, I don't like walking around the Old Market area when the night stalls are open because it's just a big blatant rip-off. Sure, I don't mind paying to help your standard of living, but just don't cross the line and charge more for something you sell to somebody else at a cheaper price.

But at the end of the day, we do what it takes to survive. And you can't hate someone for that.

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I am sitting here chewing on some heavenly rolls from Haikara Style Cafe and Bakery, a quaint and adorable little establishment located in the ground floor of e-Tiara serviced apartments two doors down from Carrefour Subang. The smell of freshly brewed coffee greets you as you step into the little place with no more than 8 tables, and the Japanese couple that run it are friendly, the type of Japanese couple that will grow old in a very cute way. The food is fresh and good, with Western style meals and sandwiches / bread with a Japanese touch. The milk for the coffee comes in this little milk tin that is no bigger than a thimble. Look out for it.

The bread is a day old, and I'm eating it while at my recently disassembled and newly set up desk at my cousin's place, looking out into an unfamiliar scene, which happens to be about twenty families' balconies and their assorted junk displayed for the whole world to see.

I moved here yesterday. Much as I like new experiences and the out of the ordinary, I am very much a creature of habit. It was a relief to get out of the old place that I've been in for the past 3 years, the site of a few mistakes and lessons learnt. But it feels a bit like a fish out of water, being here at my cousin's place.

My mildly OCD nature propels me to examine every crack, hole and corner. Extend a finger to scratch at a dark patch to see what it is, sniff the pillows, open all the drawers, count the number of exits or openings in the house and try to block out the noise of the creaking fan. It will be awhile before I get used to navigating it with ease.

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Standing on the edge of tomorrow, mildly PMS-ing and afraid. Reminding myself to go with the flow, except its a bit disorienting when u have no idea what or where the flow is.

Reminding myself again that because we're human and not god, we can't know.

Everybody looks at me and goes wahhh you're so damn lucky, making so much money, got good guy, i'm sure you can do it because that's just so you, damn maintain, yada yada.

If only they knew that sometimes I'm just closing my eyes and winging through life.