The Halfway House

Many years back, I swore I would never be mediocre.

The curse of mediocrity was one I never wanted to slide into, it reminded me too much of the past, the childhood, the everything I have lived but have turned into a foundation into which to (hopefully) build an extraordinary life.

But again, life will teach you lessons you never expect.

I'd been seriously thinking about scaling back at work for awhile. Ever since last year, but I chose to persevere until the promotion I was promised. According to some people, I was in a "batshit aggressive" phase last year, which in hindsight, I agree was completely unsustainable. But I had to do it to get to the promotion - and now, I'm coasting along as probably the youngest to have ever made this level.

Accolade enjoyed, recognized, and now I turn to what's more pressing.

In my current state, I'm re-learning how to trust my judgement, trust my feelings. Bringing about core behavioral changes are - diabolically tiring and requires emphatic patience.

Superhero made my day when he said, "Patience... As much as you want people to be patient with you, you need to be patient with yourself too. I know the phase you are in, and hence, I wanted you here, as a halfway house, until you work things out."

All I hope to be in the future, is to be able to give someone else a chance with a halfway house - with all the gratitude I know I will have after I have made it through this storm. It's going to get worse, I think, and the days will be long, but the difference between now and one year ago is I know I am no longer alone.

This is written for me to read again when the next storm hits.
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You WILL find your own place - May 2015